P.A.S

Post Abortion Syndrom Testimonies are stories of healing from the pain of abortion; the way these women went through forgiveness, were released from guilt, and dealt with the loss of their child coming to terms of peace with their aborted child.

Testimony 1

Forgivness

I had two abortions in the space of one year when I was 16 and 17 years old. God opened a door for me to receive deeper ministry into this area of my life. I was 36 and suffering from Post Abortion Syndrome. God lead me to go through a healing seminar program and this was to be a life changing encounter for me. You see, I knew on the surface that I had been forgiven by God for my abortions, but deep down inside my heart, I never truly believed this; I was also carrying a tremendous amount of pain, guilt, and shame, along with unforgiveness towards myself and as I found out later, towards others too.
This program was an excellent, scripturally based, counseling and teaching tool in that it sensitively and gently helped me face the pain of the abortions and see just how much God wanted to set “this captive free“ and truly know His forgiveness and love. It was also particularly helpful that the program not only focused on the wonderful character of God, but it also uses key biblical characters such as David and Paul, to help further illustrate God’s unconditional love, mercy and faithfulness towards His creation; He is a faithful and forgiving God, no matter how great the sin! One of the hardest things that I have struggled with was actually forgiving myself, but over time God has patiently and graciously helped me do this.

I would encourage every woman who has had an abortion to do a program such as this because it provides a wonderful opportunity to help one come to terms with the loss and receive God’s powerful healing into the emotional, mental and physical scars of abortion. It also brings one into the secure knowledge that she is forgiven and unconditionally loved by an amazing, heavenly Father and that one day, she will see her child/children again.

Testimony 2

Revealing the Secret

As I joined a healing seminar about the character of God, I learned more then ever how to come closer to Him as well as to reveal the pain of abortion to his wonderful light. Shame and fear followed my life since I preformed the abortion, I could not share about it with my family for many years to follow. I was living a double life; one had feelings of shame, of being an orphan, loneliness, guilt, fear, and self pity. The other 'life' was as if everything was fine in my life. Keeping the secret of my two abortions took a lot of energy from me.

On the fifth week of the seminar a will awakened inside of me to share about my abortions with my husband. This was after thirty five years of marriage. It was a first sign for me that I also want to complete this double life and to start having a real relationship without masks and pretenses. I realized that receiving forgiveness reconciled me to God but also reconciled me to my husband and later to my children. I felt like a heavy weight was lifted of off me. The secret went from the dark box of my heart to the light. What a relief!

In the seminar I went through the process of being forgiven, even though I deserved death myself.

As the process of healing went on during the seminar I was disconnected to my aborted babies. But when I wrote a poem about my babies it brought all my maternity feelings for my lost children that I never recognized before. Through this poem it helped me to connect to them emotionally I also felt that I closed a circle in my life. And that I finally received peace in my soul and my spirit.

Testimony 3

From pain of death to saving lives

During the time of my military service I received notice that my father died. The loss of my father was a deep pain to me. The army gave me a leave of one month to help the family. One day my boyfriend came to visit, and in my need for love and comfort I fell pregnant. I didn't even realize for a while that I was carrying a baby. When I realized that I was pregnant abortion was the only option for me. I wanted to continue my life with nothing to stop me. I remember during my pregnancy moments that I aloud my self to be connected with my child, moments of having the most wonderful feelings of life within me. Because of the decision to have an abortion, I stopped the feelings immediately and shut them down. I will never forget how my mother begged me to keep my child and offered to raise him for me. Even this did not change my decision. I aborted my baby.

As soon as this process finished I could not stop crying I felt that the life that was in me was gone, and I felt dead inside. My baby was dead and I could not reverse the abortion. I was so confused and wanted to run away from my life. I completely changed my life style, and left the army unit I was in and went into a completely different one. I had to change the place of my unit because I didn't want to be reminded of what I had done.

In a matter of three months my father died and I took the life of my baby. Years later I went through a healing seminar for my abortion. My life has not been the same since. I dealt with my anger especially towards men, my shame, my difficulties to forgive myself, and receiving hope for my future. At the end of the seminar I knew that I want to help other women that suffer greatly from their abortion experiences. I also knew that I want to help women with their unwanted pregnancies, to choose life for their babies. This was a beginning of my calling in this ministry, which I continue to this day. The Lord takes the most painful areas of our lives and uses them for His glory.

Testimony 4

Healing and Freedom

During my military service I became pregnant. The decision to have an abortion was a very easy one. It seemed like the only solution at that time. I was a “good girl”, had my life ahead of me, and I was not going to let the pregnancy destroy my life. So I had an abortion, and instead, it was the abortion that ended up destroying my life.

I went through years of feeling guilt; Of feeling shame. Years of crying every time abortion was mentioned next to me. I even went through a period of making little cuts on my self. I enjoyed that dull pain. I truly hated what I did

When I became a believer, I asked God for forgiveness for this sin. I know he forgave me. The problem was, I never forgave myself. I kept on blaming myself, hating myself, and not being able to put it behind me, and move on with my life. I was keeping that area away from God. Not letting Him heal me. Not willing to totally surrender

Then I attended the seminar. For few weeks we addressed all those feelings we kept buried for so long. It was painful, but I could see how little by little, we dug dipper and deeper, and revealed all those pains and feelings that were unaddressed for so long

For the first time in my life I felt like I was actually free; I felt that I moved on; I finally gave that area to God, and allowed him heal me completely

Now I am in a totally different path in my life. I am working full time for a ministry, and seeing all the amazing things that God is doing in my life and others around me. For the first time I can say that I am truly free and happy